This is an idea that I first mooted over on Grandad’s blog. However, if you missed it there, with more than 60% of the voters in the neighbouring constituencies of Dun Laoghaire, Dublin South, and Dublin South-East voting once more in favour of closer relationships with our European neighbours, the time has come to set up a separatist party that grants these good people their wish.
As a result, I present to you today the 10-point plan of the Posh People’s Liberation Front:
- Our first ambition shall be to become a separate republic that immediately applies for membership of the European Union. Be warned that the latter may take as much as 48 hours to achieve, given that Brussels will probably be having one of its many bank holidays at the time.
- Once in, we will immediately set about becoming the new capital of the EU. Given that 80% of our working population shall be legal eagles or senior civil servants by profession, our arguments for it shall be overwhelming.
- However, our ambitions shall not stop there. Given how rich we will all be, not to mention our fine ferry port, we will also look to position ourselves as the Monaco of the North.
- Our new flag shall reflect our position as wealthy Europhiles:
- David Andrews, as the only Fianna Fail politician that I can stand, will be proposed as our first president.
- As we will need a language of our own, everyone will be expected to speak using elongated syllables and with frequent reference to words such as “totally”, “loike”, and “Hein-o”. To assist people in making this transition, free copies of Ross O’Carroll-Kelly novels will be distributed to every home.
- Rugby and cricket will become our national sports. Our Monaco of the North status will be used to find a pack for our rugby team, as we will already have the Irish back line as citizens. We will then host the 2015 Rugby World Cup, which we will win by feeding the other teams with gone-off seafood brought in via our fine ferry port.
- We will rename the Irish Sea and Dublin Bay as the Treaty of Rome Sea and Jean Monnet Bay respectively. Those neutrality-loving Paddies will not be able to do a thing about it, especially as they will no longer have any lawyers left to take their case to the European Court of Justice. Anyway, even if they managed to do so, guess whose side the court will be on!
- Our history will only date back to 1 January 1973. As a result, this is now the year 35 AA (after accession).
- Finally, Infernal’s “From Paris to Berlin” will be adopted as our national anthem.
Long live the Republic! Join the Posh People’s Liberation Front today!
Cogito, Facio, Fio!
Filed under: Humour, Politics | Tagged: Dun Laoghaire, Lisbon Treaty, Posh People's Liberation Front
a further suggestion – set up an internment camp for Richard Boyd Barrett?
I jest, I jest! The people of Free Dun Laoghaire always respect the rights of its citizens (probably, as you say, because an inordinately large proportion of them are barristers).
This new republic, as including D-SE, will include most of the good music venues (Tripod, ALT, Whelan’s) and record shops (Tower, Road, Freebird), right? I got worried there for a second. Surprisingly self-sufficient, then!
Of course RBB can stay! Can never forget that 30-odd percent of the people of this country-to-be did vote against Lisbon. They shall need representation too!
Ivana Bacik for Prime Minister!
Or maybe we should call the post “Governor”
Ivana Bacik for Prime Minister!
Keith, there is a distinction between satire and just plain scary talk. You are teetering on the brink!
And no.11: vintage wine and quality champagne at French and Italian prices. This was why the good people of Dun Laoghaire voted for accession in the first place (I know, I was there in the year 1 BA), but it never came to pass.
Some things don’t need to be in writing to be in the mandate DK!
LO,
Your drawing of the boundaries would, of course, encompass most of the south Dublin Protestant population, on which basis, I would propose that church fetes should be grant aided as a major cultural expression; and that no-one be allowed to drive any car less than five years old and that BMWs be excluded altogether because they are so new money.
Ian, to start with, I am so impressed that you managed to score a monocled monster face on my comments board. If I could manipulate these things, I would want one too.
Next up, they are not boundaries, mind, they are international borders!!
Moving to the substance of your comment, while I am an atheist, I am more than willing to accommodate your church fetes in my re-imagining of South Dublin. So long as things get sold by the kilogramme, of course. Imperial measurements would be banned as being quite uneuropean in nature!
No bans on beamers, either, so long as they are manufactured in the EU! You threaten the fundamentals of the society that we wish to create otherwise!
Welcome to my site BTW!